So last week was a pretty enlightening week in this unblendable household. DH and I had a LOT of words fly back and forth and I think/hope/pray we are in a better place for it. At least I hope so.
One of the things I vowed I would do was wash my hands of anything "First Family" and I have to tell you, with the holidays upon us it was actually quite a freeing vow.
MY extended family had their Christmas last night, which meant traveling to my parents' home. My DH has his kids every weekend, but as they get older they are coming over less and less. However, of COURSE they'd want to come over in the days leading up to Christmas, because they certainly don't want to miss out on any "What did you get me" time with my DH. So... they came over. Got their money. DH told BM about my family's Christmas, the time, etc. a week ago. Yesterday BM decides she wants HER kids home by 5pm. Great... my family's Christmas starts at 4pm, and it's an hour away.
DH wants to go visit his parents in another state after Christmas (I have to work so cannot go). BM told him a week ago they would be home from her family on Christmas night. So my DH planned on leaving the morning of the 26th (with kids in tow) to travel. Had it all planned with his parents. Tells BM, and she suddenly decides she's not going to come back until "maybe" the 27th. Of course DH gets pissed off and then she acts like she's doing him a favor by "maybe" being back on the 26th so that he can leave on the 27th.
Every year. Every. Damned. Year. She takes HER piece of the pie right out of the middle, and leaves DH to make-do with crumbs. They have NEVER followed the parenting guidelines on sharing holidays, so NEVER in the 15 years they've been divorced has he EVVVVVEEEEERRRRRRR had his kids on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. And this year is no different. The only holidays my DH can be absolutely sure
In years past, I would get pissed. It's unfair, it's not right, she's such a bitch... But after last week? I didn't care, not one iota. If he's willing to roll over for such nonsense, that's his problem. However, I will NOT allow it to affect my holidays with my family, nor my life in general.
It really WAS nice getting to visit with my family and not have a couple morose teenagers slinking around complaining under their breath how bored they were, how stupid their gifts were, etc. And it took this for my DH to realize I'm not wasting one more ounce of "giveashit" on his situation.
Source: http://www.steptalk.org/node/102266
jeff saturday jason smith jon corzine austin rivers austin rivers sweet home alabama etch a sketch
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